Everyone is a lesbian now

My favourite lesbian is Tony Soprano.  

Tony Soprano is an iconic lesbian because: 

1. Tony is a lover of women  

2. Tony is a sensualist 

3. Tony is in an intimate and provocative relationship with the concept of masculinity 

4. Tony is in therapy 

5. Tony knows how to wear a vest 

Tony is a complicated person who’s desires, traumas, needs, pain a pleasure make Tony a completely devastating and totally enchanting, VERY problematic lesbian.  

Ok, Pride treat over.

The point is this: in cultural analysis we’re frequently observe that evolving ideas of sexuality, identity and gender are pushing queerness into the mainstream. We understand that family is shifting, that relationships are understood in more nuanced ways and we hope that culturally (in the UK) we’re all more chill with gays. But, what does that mean for the community & can the popularity of lesbians a la mode be meaningful beyond representation. 

We often look for signifiers of queerness as they shift the cultural landscape. And I think it’s clear that from Kristen Stewart’s Rolling Stone cover, Janelle Monet’s trousers, Billie Eilish’s ‘Lunch’, and of course MUNA there’s plenty of lesbian in popular culture. Lesbians are in adverts for banks, healthcare, chips -  you can tell that they’re lesbians because they’re often cuddling each other, or something. It’s great. 

Representation is vital, expanded awareness of our own emotional lives and those of others is key to progress. That’s why lesbians are a crucial cultural code at the moment. If you stroll down any given street in London’s Hackney you will see lots of ‘lesbians’. This is in part to do with the aesthetic swing towards expensive outdoor/durable clothing, slip on shoes and capacious tailoring. Queer culture has steered fashion for ever.  

But fashion itself isn’t queer culture. Queer is an expression of an othered perspective. In fact, the ‘lesbian’ look is a voice from the outside, an ‘anti-fashion’ posture. I kind of celebrate the sartorial sapphic thing but also, I do not. Because, it’s not just style its much more. It’s an expression, a navigation and alterity writ large – a nod to people like you that maybe might like you.  

Victorian Plumbing’s 2023 TVC from Leo Burnett get’s it.

In the piece Tina transforms into ‘Don Tina’ – a Tony Soprano style ‘boss’. 

She codes the convivial, family-focused, hyper-masculine power of the ‘boss’. It’s funny, compelling and feels like real representation.

It tells a good story and its more than sentimental cuddling. It’s about identity, humour and coding. It’s empowering (and it helpfully supports my point).  

We can’t all be Tony Soprano – of course I hope none of us are ever bigoted, dangerous, murdering mob bosses. But we can learn from the way that Tony occupies a space outside of society and maintains an aesthetic that jars with socially sanctioned ideas of attractiveness and is a whole, full person, fuelled by desire, loyalty, passion, difference. That’s a lesbian.